Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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