I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
