next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you would pick up someone in the library
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
