Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
