you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
