Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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