What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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