I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want to fling myself into the sun
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
