We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I have fence marks all over my body
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize