I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
