what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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