my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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