I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
