hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
