Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
