Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
