I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
