There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
