i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
