Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
