you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
