so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
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