I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
