people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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