Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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