yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
