ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
