i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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