I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
