literally had 100 drinks last night.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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