Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
