He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
