This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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