I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
