using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
