I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My bed smells like the plague
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
