I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
