she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
