We're facebook friends in real life
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
