I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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