i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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