even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
