All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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