dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
