If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Enjoy the penises
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
