he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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