They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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