Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
