I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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