I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
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