her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
