No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
