omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He uses pillows to masturbate.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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