I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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