I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
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