I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
