I cockslap morals
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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