How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
