hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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