Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
