is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
