do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
