i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
