May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
