Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
